The Watermark is a free-flowing, frequently exasperated weekly column concerning the NHL and its media coverage.
There is nothing like having your favorite team open up their season in Europe. Admittedly, that statement can mean a lot of things and point to a lot more. However, I’m just going to focus on one incredible aspect of having my favorite team start their season on a tour of Europe — afternoon games during work. Not only do I have three hours of the most compelling content I can ever think of entertaining me during the work day, but I also get to learn some Swedish, and Finnish, and whatever the Prague-ians speak. For example, did you know that John Tortorella in Swedish is, Johnn Torrr-Torrellaa. Or Henrik Lundqvist is, Hen-RIK Lunddd-QVIST. Swedish is an awesome language. And they make good fish too (ba dum tsh).
The NBC/Versus Starting Lineup for 2011-2012
All GAMES on NBC (Thanksgiving Friday, Winter Classic, Sunday ‘NHL Game of the Week’)
‘Doc’ Emrick (play-by-play), Eddie Olczyk (analyst) and Pierre McGuire (Inside the Glass analyst)
SUNDAYS on VERSUS aka NBC SPORTS NETWORK (Starting in January)
Dave Strader (play-by-play) and Brian Engblom (Inside the Glass analyst)
MONDAYS on VERSUS
Mike ‘Doc’ Emrick (play-by-play) and Pierre McGuire (Inside the Glass analyst)
TUESDAYS on VERSUS
Dave Strader (play-by-play) and Brian Engblom (Inside the Glass analyst)
WEDNESDAYS on VERSUS
Mike ‘Doc’ Emrick (play-by-play), Eddie Olczyk (analyst) and Pierre McGuire (Inside the Glass analyst)
NHL Live on VERSUS
Liam McHugh, Mike Milbury and Keith Jones
NHL Overtime on VERSUS
Bill Patrick and Jeremy Roenick (plus rotating personalities)
‘NHL Game of the Week’ Intermissions on NBC
Liam McHugh and Mike Milbury
(via NBC press release on Fang’s Bites)
So what do you guys think, huh? It hasn’t changed much from the lineup that NBC and Versus have thrust on us in the last several years. However, with the exception of Milbury and McGuire, there really isn’t a lot to hate about this crew. Goes without saying that they have the best play-by-play man in the game (and arguably in sports), and honestly, any chance you get to hear Roenick attempt to explain the nuances of hockey in an analytical way is must-see TV.
This Week In… What is Milbury Talking About?
Mike Milbury Ranting on Hit Rules
No one knows. All I can tell is, the future of hockey is at stake if we don’t stop the NHL from trying to do everything it can to protect its players from cheap shots. Otherwise, dimunitive Norwegian forwards will never have the freedom to play the physical, gritty, rough-and-tumble game they have grown up playing. And if Mike Milbury — the man who has a direct line to the beating heart of the National Hockey League — is concerned about the future of hockey, then you know we should pay attention.
In all seriousness though, I understand the argument that Milbury is trying to make. I also understand the perspective he is coming from–an old curmudgeon who is watching a game, played with a certain style and tenacity throughout his life, change before his very own eyes. And when the notion of change is put in front of his face on a daily basis, it gets him to lash out. After all, in only two years we have gone from celebrating on-field and on-ice viciousness in sports to suddenly really caring about the athletes in a humane way. Don’t get me wrong, we should have always had player safety at the forefront, but it’s funny to see how many people are jumping on this player safety bandwagon in full gusto… Yeah, I’m looking at you Keith Jones.
Plus, going back to my boy, Mike, you and I both know this is not even in the top 10 of dumbest things he has uttered during a nationally televised game. In fact, it was almost adorable watching him champion what really amounts to “this-is-not-the-game-I-grew-up-loving” nostalgia. So, for keeping the “old way” alive and coming very close to dropping that (really inevitable) F-bomb on a nationally televised game, Mike Milbury, I salute you (until next week, when I am sure I’ll hate you).
This Week In… Barnaby & Melrose Pretend They Know Hockey
Barnaby & Melrose on 2012 Cup Predictions
Barnaby and Melrose got together this past week and talked like they were considered some kind of experts on the sport of hockey. In making his Stanley Cup predictions for the upcoming season, Matthew Barnaby made every effort to prove that he is as good an analyst as he was a player (as in: he’s not). Dude picked a Flyers v Canucks Stanley Cup Final, with the Flyers winning it all. Let’s break that down a little bit. He picked a team that just massively overhauled its entire lineup to come together in one year and win the Cup. He picked a team from Philly to win the Cup, you know, that city that never gets good things except for one momentary lapse in judgement from the sports gods in 2008. And finally, he picked a team that is resting its Cup hopes on the shoulders of Ilya Bryzgalov… Matthew Barnaby, everybody!
Melrose, on the other hand, wasn’t up to his usual nonsensical self. Seriously, what is going on this week? First Milbury goes on his old-man rant that is more adorable than infuriating and now Melrose decides he doesn’t want to say anything ridiculous, either? Not to mention, there wasn’t ONE mullet joke in that entire video. Melrose picked a Cup Final between the Capitals and Blackhawks, and you know what, I wouldn’t be too surprised if that ends up being the actual matchup. Who are you kidding, yes I will be. The Capitals aren’t going anywhere near the Cup until they oust Boudreau. Sorry, but it’s true. However, there is no denying that the team has gotten deeper, so if there was a year that they could overcome Bruce’s deficiencies, this might be it, I guess.
This Week In… ESPN Experts Try to Fix the All-Star Game, When No One Asked!
In a recent article on ESPN.com’s NHL page that, you guys, actually does exist, Scott Burnside, Craig Custance and Pierre LeBrun get together in one article to give ideas on how to fix the All-Star Game and keep it fresh. Nevermind that no one is even thinking about this, but since ESPN covers hockey with such tenacity and thoroughness, sometimes they just run out of material and have to reach for crazy things like this.
Anyways, Burnside’s big idea is to make it Canada vs the World this year due to the game being played in Ottawa, and have six lucky contest or charity winners each coach a period of the game. Which, truth be told, isn’t bad if you completely ignore the stupid Canda vs the World idea. What I’m trying to say is, no one actually cares about manufactured rivalries in exhibition games. That’s why no one cared if it was East vs. West or North America vs. the World. It’s an All-Star game. Everyone, including the players and the fans, are there to have fun. So the never-ceasing idea of trying to “fix” a game that doesn’t count is fundamentally flawed. Which is why, it would be really cool to enter a contest and see regular fans have some fun “coaching” the stars during the game. I’d be all over that contest, because you know I’m showing up the previous night and introducing a completely new textbook of plays I’ve come up with while watching the Mighty Ducks on a Spanish language movie channel.
Craig Custance, on the other hand, has this grand master plan that is not completely thought out, in which players would be put into three separate teams by those who grew up playing college hockey in the U.S., junior hockey in Canada and European hockey in Europe. They would all wear their old jerseys and then have some sort of yet-to-be-determined-because-this-is-a-stupid-idea tournament over the course of an entire day. Yes, because all hockey players want to do during the All-Star game is spend an entire day playing a convoluted tournament that has no bearing on anything whatsoever. Because there’s nothing like watching 12 guys on the ice at any given time wearing 12 completely different journeys.
LeBrun, to his credit, doesn’t even try. First he says to abolish the game, like a good “that guy” within the group. Then he’s like, just get all the best players from Europe and Russia to play the best NHL players because both sides will be amped up to win the game. For what it’s worth, everything LeBrun said is true. But once again, I’ll just revert back to my condescending tone to answer this idea as well: Yes, Pierre, because all NHL players want to do is go all out and risk injury in a game that doesn’t even matter. I mean, who gives a crap about winning the Stanley Cup? There’s a pointless victory over a European All-Star team to be had!
Sigh.
This Week In… Grantland
There’s a lot to be said about Grantland, Bill Simmon’s little pet project, and hockey. There have been several columns on the website that have elicited strong enough reactions from yours truly. However, that will have to wait until the next column that truly needs to be railroaded or effusively praised (although you and I both know the former is more likely). But for what it’s worth, I would like to note, Katie Baker is a fantastic writer, and I will very much look forward to her weekly hockey column. It also helps she’s an equally-suffering Rangers fan… Not that my opinion of someone would change based on what team(s) they root for. HA! That would be… silly…
Until next time! Find me on Twitter @sahilness.