NHL Jersey Ads: Enough Is Enough

Mandatory Credit: Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

In recent days NHL fans have been told to expect that jersey ads are coming soon to an arena near them. There also seems to be an unspoken addendum consisting of and just accept it. And as we have no say in the matter, short of boycotts the league knows full well that we’ll never partake in, hockey fans will have to do just that. But really, enough is enough.

When I was a kid, I can actually remember a time when you could attend a Hartford Whalers game and see the rink boards covered in nothing more than white paint and black scuff marks. Although not long after, nearly every square inch of those boards were covered up with ads for everything from beer-to-eateries-to-the cable channel covering the home team.

But as we all very well know, it didn’t stop (or start) there. Ads on the ice, on food wrappers, section entrances, over urinals, on scoreboards, superimposed on plexi-glass for television audiences…you name it.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Everything in sports, and I do mean everything, is now “sponsored” by some company or other. Power plays, out-of-town scores, game stats, replays and even the announcing booth from which commentators broadcast the game are now all “brought to you by” a veritable cornucopia of corporations.

As the old song goes, these days when it comes to advertising there’s nowhere to run to, and nowhere to hide. There is no sanctuary.

We pay for through the nose for cable and are still subjected to endless TV ads. We pay outrageous gas prices, and as we stand there pumping we’re helplessly stuck watching ads on pump-embedded TV screens.

And to come full circle, we pay astronomical ticket prices, parking fees and concession costs just to attend what has seemingly become 41 individual massive corporate promotional conventions a season at which some NHL hockey is also played.

The only thing that was left, the last island from ad onslaught; the last vestige of tradition, were the uniforms themselves. And now that too is about to be snatched away like the last can of Who hash.

Baseball likes to think it has a patent on tradition, but it very much exists in hockey, too. And while MLB’s tradition is based mostly on a sea of statistics that few care about anymore, hockey’s is based mostly on loving the sport, loving your team, loving its unforgettable moments and, also, the creative uniforms they wear while representing your city. (Or in Hartford’s case, at least used to.)

Many fans still refer to hockey jerseys as “sweaters”, and rightfully so. MLB and NBA jerseys are little more than script or interlocking letters sewn across its shirts; NFL jerseys little more than numbers and nameplates.

NHL jerseys are works of art with wicking capabilities. (the ‘Buffa-slug’ and that thing on the Carolina Hurricanes jersey trying to pass for a crest notwithstanding.)

Surely the NHL is considering this because really, aside from mandating players to have corporate logos actually tattooed on their faces, it’s the only place left for them to go.

Can’t just one thing remain safe from avarice? Just within the playing area itself, you not only have the aforementioned on-ice and board ads, but also equipment logos, Zamboni logos, logos on towels and two highly-visible Gatorade bottles sitting prominently atop either goal.

When is it enough?

Adding a tactless patch symbolizing yet another cash-grab to an NHL sweater is akin to Leonardo da Vinci opting to spray-paint a dessert course onto The Last Supper. Okay, yeah. That might be somewhat hyperbolic. But I’ve been waiting a long time to use that line in an article.

Perhaps none of that is enough to sway you, NHL. So how about this?

The next time an iconic moment is captured on film for the ages, such as Bobby Orr sailing through the air after his Stanley Cup-winning goal, or Detroit’s Steve Yzerman taking a puck from St. Louis’s Wayne Gretzky before launching a rocket shot past Jon Casey to win a playoff series in double OT, just imagine how great it’ll be to see Tony the Tiger or the Geiko gecko pasted to their shoulders, immortalized along with them for all time.

That wouldn’t cheapen the moment at all now, would it?

Or if Herb Brooks had shouted “The name on the front of the jersey is a heluva lot more important than the name on the back!” to his 1980 Miracle on Ice squad, only to have a player ask back “You mean Pizza Hut, Coach?”

This kind of thing would be very much bush league when employed by the highest level of professional hockey in the world. If approved, it’ll look like the NHL sent out Walter Matthau/Morris Buttermaker to get its jerseys.

C’mon, NHL. Is the comparable pittance in revenue to be obtained from such a move really worth the overall cost?